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Writing a la Sex in the City ain’t all it’s cracked up to be

13 Mar

Much of my twenties was misspent watching crummy rom-coms, Friends and Sex in the City – I now find myself the freelance journalist I aspired to be back then wishing I could be like SJP.

Funny how when you get what you want in life it’s never quite what you’d hoped it would be. That’s not to say I don’t like doing what I’m doing. No, it’s safe to say I love the work bit- dabbling in hotels, restaurants, food, mumsy stuff, flitting from subject to subject as the commissions take me – that’s great.

What I object to is being sold the SJP myth that you can write on your bed. I’ve tried sitting lengthways, cross-legged, lying down, on the edge, in the middle – you name it I’ve done it – it’s all impossible. You really can’t do it.

Well that’s not strictly true, you can, but if you’re the wrong side of 35 then within a minute your back starts giving you jip, your coxix goes numb and your neck gets stiff from being forced into the wrong kind of work position.

I can only imagine what those corporate work-station assessors would do if they saw me now – I can hear the tut tut tutting already. But then maybe I’m just being silly – it is a lap-top afterall…

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mobile phone rant

12 Nov

why is it my phone dies even when I’ve charged it all night?

why is it my phone flips  to landscape when I typing a message on a table?

why is it my phone locks all the time so when i get a call i can’t unlock it on time?

why is it my phone ‘ends call’ when i put it to my ear?

why is it my phone flips from home page to some random Xfactor page I’ve never uploaded all the time?

why is it my phone does a super scroll thru contacts so fast I can’t actually pinpoint the person I want to call?

why is it my phone keeps logging me out of twitter and facebook?

why is it I can’t find the numbers on my phone for text messages?

why is it my touch screen phone doesn’t recognise gloves – It’s cold out there, doesn’t it realise?

why does my phone take forever to upload an email?

AND FINALLY why is my 3 year old better at the games on my phone than I am?

OK feel much better for the verbal vomit. Rant over