Marital Rules.. to tell or not to tell

As we watched Modern Family last night (very funny & worth checking out if you haven’t already), the gay couple were arguing about the ‘shooting down’ of Cam’s protracted and not very funny story.

As I’m sure we all have those moments of thinking “not this one again… (Lobster humidor/Paul).. It got me to wondering – is it a spouse’s duty to sit and listen over and over again, dutifully providing the needed response of “ha ha darling/ oh no!/ really, that’s hilarious”? Or, should one say in a quiet moment – “enough now babe – it wasn’t funny when you told it to me on our first date but I fancied you and wanted to see you again so I laughed, now it’s like groundhog day torture… PLEASE STOP TELLING THAT STORY” – or something perhaps a little more sensitive.

And then if you extrapolate it out – where do you stop – the dandruff? the ear & nose hair? the snaffling eating habit? the bogies hanging from the nose? – oh no that’s the kids.. but that kind of thing.

Similarly I walked out the house the other day with a rice krispie stuck to my cheek and yesterday’s mascara smudged under my eye creating a fetching battered woman-type look – I think something should’ve been said, but no – out into the big wide world I went, totally oblivious.

I’m curious – where’s the line? What’s the correct spousal supportive action – to tell or not to tell? – and what actions should we be picking up on?

Here’s my  interventionist starter for ten:

Boring protracted stories with lame endings

Groan-worthy puns

Facial cereal

Age-related hair growth: nose/ear/chin/upper lip or anywhere else

Skirt in Knickers/Flies undone

Shaving cream trails

Random food stains on clothing – especially fish related

Bad parking manoeuvres  – ‘helpful’ hints on how to do better?!

Queuing strategies that involve pushing to the front “for the family” but in fact just embarrassing said family

Dance moves from last century – or the one before! (Paul/me respectively)

What are yours?